We talked about wonderful husand-wife relationship previously. I will like to start out by asking ourselves this question: "How is our marriage fairing?" Some of our answers might be: "Great! Its has never been so good." Some might answer:" We are ok. There are a couple of things we are working on. Overall we are ok." These answers are certainly encouraging.
Brothers, let us ask oursleves another question:" In our marriage, is there an unspoken agreement with our wife that says something like this: I love you and I have an intimate relationship with you. In fact, I have given you so much more than other man would have given to their wives out there in the world. I am sure you ought to be happy. You know, I am sure you know that, as much I am willing to grow closer to you, there is this line I will not cross. Beyond this line, you get too compicated and I can't handle it, we will get hurt. So you and I agree that this is as far as I will come close to you." Give a few minutes to think deeply about this question. If you are very sure you don't have this unspoken agreement, close this article and carry on what you were doing. Otherwise, let us explore deeper.
Like you who are reading on, I have this unspoken agreement in my marriage. I would say: "But, but it is my wife who forced me to have this agreement. I had no choice. You see,when I tried to get closer, she launches this defense mechanism that wants me to do this, to do that, to change this , to change that; It is just beyond me lah." This sounds so, so "reasonable" at first. But you and I know that it is a pathetic excuse and even more pathetic to form this agreement.
How did this agreement form? Did I talk to my wife and agree on it ? No. Did my wife discuss with me and agree on it? No. Then how did it form? Ah, you see, it is because my wife and I understand each other so much that we need not talk and still form the agreement in our minds. You must be laughing now. Of course it couldn't be formed this way. Or could it be? Was there a third voice talking to me through all this?
Yes. You must guessed it by now. The third voice is Lucifer. He does not want our wives to be loved to the fullest and he spoke this agreement into our minds.
Lucifer hates man and woman because we are make in God's image. But Lucifer's first hatred is towards woman.
Let us explore the scriptures. Satan was first called Lucifer, son of the morning. He was an angel full of glory, brightness and radiance.
Ezekiel 28:12-14 talks about the splendor and beauty of Lucifer:
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You were the model of perfection,full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.You were in Eden, the garden of God;Every precious stone adorned you:ruby, topaz and emerald, Chrysolite, onyx and jasper,sapphire, turquoise and beryl.Your settings and mountings were made of gold;on the day you were created they were prepared.You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you.You were on the holy mount of God;You walked among the fiery stones."Lucifer was perfect in beauty. But pride crept into his heart and caused his downfall.
Ezekiel 28:17 says:
"Your heart became proud on account of your beauty,and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendour."Brothers, Lucifer fell because of his pride. His heart for revenge is to assault the beauty. His first hatred is toward the woman.
In the garden of Eden, who did Lucifer attack ? He attacked Eve and deceived her. Because Eve was the beauty. Adam was mascular perhaps but not a beauty.In the same way, the unspoken agreement was put in our minds by Lucifer to harm our wives and our marriage.
What can we do about it since we now know Lucifer's scheme ? In the garden of Eden, when God asked Adam why he ate the forbidden fruit, Adam answered that it was Eve's fault, he has no choice, he was 'forced' to. Hmm, sounds familiar. Now let us asked ourselves, when Lucifer deceived Eve, where was Adam? My God, Adam was right there! He was right there beside Eve and he did nothing to stop Lucifer.
Brothers, let us not be like Adam. Let us take courage and destroy the unpsoken agreement. Let us cross the enemy line and draw ever closer to our wives. We will be wounded definitely because our weakness will be exposed, there will be uncertainty and there will be risk. But let us remember what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 11:30, "
If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness". In the movie "Behind Enemy Lines", when Owen Wilson crossed the enemy line, his fighter jet took the enemy's missiles and he took the enemy's bullets. But what kept him fighting for survival was the hope that the special forces on the aircraft carrier will come to rescue him. The special forces came and guess what , the Admiral was personally leading the rescue mission.
Brothers, in our marriage, we will be wounded when we cross that enemy line. Lucifer will make sure of that. But we have the special forces with us, our brothers in our small group. We need to bring our wounds to each other, pray for each other and God will heal our wounds. And when we are healed, we will have the renewed energy to go back to fight to love our wives deeper.
I certainly want to repent and take courage in destroying the unspoken agreement and crossing that enemy line. With the special forces behind me, I believe I can take my marriage higher and deeper, always.
Side NoteI was pretty bothered by my lack of evangelism recently. While I was writing this article, it dawned on me that my wounds from my evangelism efforts was not been healed. The sarcastic looks ,sarcastic remarks, rejections still hurts me. I need to bring the wounds to the special forces to talk about it and pray for healing.
